lizziemcganja:

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

image

image

wolf-and-kitten:

fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

That’s actually not a bad suggestion >.>

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

Mark Twain (via kushandwizdom)